Rosie Acres

"Why don't zombies rot?" or "Do you ever feel not so fresh?"

2009-10-19T11:30:00.009-06:00

I actually get asked this quite a bit, believe it or not. (Not if I ever feel not so fresh, the first part, obviously.) A lot of people seem to have thought a lot about zombies and the big gotcha that always seems to come up is why don't zombies rot? It's a valid question. If zombies DID rot then really all you'd need to do to survive an outbreak is hole up in your house for a few months, maybe a year. You let your typical zombie shamble around outside in the elements and you'd think their skin would fall off, the ligaments in their arms and legs would break and then you'd have nothing but a quivering mess on the ground that wants to eat you, and who's afraid of a quivering mess?

Ignoring The Blob, let's move on...

I guess a lot of this comes down to what's reanimating the dead in the first place. Is it a virus? Nanomachines? Cosmic radiation? Some kind of mysticism or judgment from God? Obviously the whatever-it-is has some form of regenerative ability or the dead wouldn't be walking around trying to eat your face in the first place. As long as their brain survives they still have enough presence to walk around. Kill the brain and you kill them. That's pretty common in the movies, except for Return of the Living Dead, where you couldn't re-kill them at all.

Here's what I think: whatever is re-animating them has to replenish itself in some way. The body's functions no longer, um, function. Heart doesn't pump, blood doesn't flow, toxins don't get flushed out in the bathroom... It's a one-way system. They eat skin, blood, brains, whatever, but where does it go? There must be SOME kind of process still working in the body that converts what they hunger for into something they can use, else why would they be hungry in the first place? Why not just stumble around and scare people and not eat them? Why the insatiable hunger?

So the virus/radiation/nanobots/whatever need energy/food to keep animating the flesh. To do so it needs to keep the body at least well enough to keep mobile. Maybe it feeds on the life force itself (read Bram Stoker's Dracula and Renfield's description of eating flies) and uses that to replenish itself. Keep a zombie locked up in a room for 20 years with no food and would you still have an active zombie? That's a good question. My guess is yes, just because it'd be out of the elements.

If the zombies were successful and ate their entire food supply would they eventually rot away? Maybe... my guess is that eventually they'd turn on each other for food or somehow they could eat trees/grass/plants/etc.

Food for thought?

Be very afraid of the impending zombie apocalypse

2009-10-13T11:57:00.002-06:00

I've mostly been devoting this blog to fun stuff like reading, writing and movies, but today I feel like it's my duty to warn the people about the impending zombie apocalypse. It's going to happen, people. One day the dead shall rise. Be it from a plague, an asteroid, a smiting from God... or something as simple as dying in a graveyard (shameless plug for Trailer Park Zombies).

Will you know how to survive? Did you know that there are actual groups of people out there actively studying and saving and teaching others how to survive the outbreak? You can join your local chapter here:

Zombie Squad

Thankfully someone has posted a wonderful survival guide. If that doesn't work for you you should read Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide. You can purchase it on Amazon here.

I don't mean to scare you, but it's true that the zombies are out there. They're coming to get you, Barbara.

Don't believe me? Read the "5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalpyse Could Actually Happen." It's a sobering read and I'm not ashamed to admit that I've spent nights going from window to window to ensure there aren't any shambling undead outside in the bushes.

Did you lock your doors before going to bed?

Think about it.

IT

2009-10-12T12:09:00.005-06:00

I have to admit... IT by Stephen King has always been one of my favorite books (followed by I Am Legend by Richard Matheson, The Stand by Stephen King, etc. etc.). And it's also one of the ones I find myself re-reading every couple years just for the hell of it. The thing in hardback is bigger than my dog at approximately 1100 pages and God knows how many pounds. I hate lugging the book around and as I've found myself doing lately I went to go look to see if it was available on Kindle. I hate buying books twice but it's hard to get around the damn convenience of being able to pull it up every time I have a free minute or two. Of course, it's not available, more the same. Authors/publishers really need to get on the bandwagon and really make the backlist available (for cheap). It'd probably drum up huge interest (just my .02).

Anyway, still working hard on the www.tpzombies.com site. Finding myself immersed in Photoshop (one of those things you hate to hate to hate, if you know what I mean). Also in the middle of doing a re-design of my main site www.jason-jones.net. If you have any suggestions for content please pass them along.

Til next time!

TPZombies.com launched!

2009-10-05T13:51:00.002-06:00

I've got almost all the content out there for the Trailer Park Zombies home site. Just missing a few minor things and then it's all out there. Why don't you check it out?

Trailer Park Zombies!

Just testing...

2009-09-19T17:22:00.004-06:00

Been a little busy for a while so I haven't had the chance to blog. Honestly haven't had too much to say either :) I've seen a bunch of the summer "blockbusters" and have to say that most did not impress me at all. Which sucks!

Trailer Park Zombies is now available on the Amazon Kindle. Check it out!

It's been a while...

2009-08-04T11:30:00.004-06:00

Since I've done an update, but hey, what do you expect?

I've finished the first two drafts of Trailer Park Zombies and am currently working on the last one. I've sent it off to a few publishers and of course have not heard back yet. Takes those guys months to respond, so I'm not holding my breath.

Here's a look at the cover I've had drawn up:

On the other front I finished reading the 13 Jack Reacher novels and am reading 23 Hours by David Wellington. It's the 3rd or 4th (I lost count) in his vampire novels. Wellington also wrote the Monster Island books (about Zombies, natch) and became an internet sensation by writing his books on his blog and then somehow getting discovered by a publisher/agent and getting famous and rich and what-all. Who doesn't want that? (Publishers, pay attention!) 23 hours is set in a prison and takes place over 23 hours (from dawn one day til the hour before dawn on the next). It's fun and fast paced and I'm enjoying it so far, at about halfway thru.

Gonna go see GI Joe this weekend!

Hellish

2009-06-01T13:11:00.006-06:00

Saw Drag Me to Hell this weekend. Can't say I was too impressed. It was entertaining in a Sam Raimi kind of way (see Evil Dead 2 or Army of Darkness to see what I mean). Definitely would have been better as an at-home, DVD movie rather than something you pay $10/ticket for at the theater. But, hey, we'd seen everything else :)

I read 3 books last week. Simon Green's Secret Histories, vol 2: Daemons Are Forever, Lee Child's Jack Reacher, #1: The Killing Floor, and Flashforward by Rober J. Sawyer.

Daemons are Forever was long winded and good, just like I like my books. I love the longer works, you just feel like you get more for your money. This one's only supposed to be a trilogy and the 3rd one is due out on June 16th, so I suppose I'll Kindle it when it comes out. Hopefully it's the last or I'll have that interminable wait for the next one!

Jack Reacher was definitely very good. I'm not normally into spy books or crime stories, but this one really wasn't either one. It was more of a whodunit, mystery kind of thing. Kind of on the same page as Alex Cross, by James Patterson, which I used to read with wild abandon, back when the chapters were more than 2 pages each, the typeset was a little smaller, there were more than 300 pages in them, and it took longer than a half hour to read them. Not to mention that they weren't ghostwritten. But I digress. I took a chance on Jack Reacher and was impressed enough that I'll probably read more of them. I think the series is up to 13 books and for some reason I think I might have read one, or read a crossover or something as I know I've heard of the character before. I suppose I'll find out as I go on.

Flasforward was... okay. My wife read it because of the new TV series coming out and she liked it enough that I thought I'd give it a shot. It's techy enough about the physics that your eyes get glazed over and you end up skipping around, but the concept is very tight and raises a ton of questions about fate and time travel and whether you can cheat your own death if you see it ahead of time, assuming you don't end up causing the events leading up to along the way! The book seemed fairly short (always hard to tell on the Kindle), but it was definitely a quick and dirty, nice read.

I'm about 100 pages into my 2nd draft of TPZ (Trailer Park Zombies). I'm hoping to get it done this week. I'd like to find some publishers/agents to get it sent off to and get published, rich, etc. etc. I just got this review from a person in my critique group and it makes me feel all aflutter since it's neither someone I've paid, a family member who HAS to like it, or a friend. This kind of stuff always makes you feel good:

"I finished reading the book, and the only thing I can say is wow. I believe that this ending is something that M. Night Shyamalan and Stephen King would have to work at together for years to come up with. It is absolutely fantastic, and it does an amazing job of explaining what had happened. But, besides that there are a few teeny tiny semi crit things that I wanted to say. Err ask. [REMOVED SOME SPOILERS].
Just one more thing, and then I will get to the job of critting the book. When your book sales, and I'm sure that it will its just a matter of time, I humbly request a signed first edition hardback, and a signed paperback. The hardback will sit on my top shelf as a collectors item, and the paper back will be read over and over and over again. "

How cool is that?

The Life and Times...

2009-05-26T14:22:00.003-06:00

Well, I finished Good Omens last week. Did a mad rush to finish the last 150 pages or so one night and read til after midnight. It was definitely a fascinating read. Good points and good use of actual theology to bring the point across and hammer home the lesson. I still don't understand how 2 people can write a book together, but it worked for them!

Saw Terminator 4 this weekend. I hate to say it, but the best parts of this movie were definitely in the trailer. The "big reveal" about Marcus Wright was in the trailers, so that wasn't too much of a surprise. As I like to say: I couldn't see the plot for all the holes. I told my wife that Hollywood really needs to start hiring guys whose sole job is to read scripts and look for plot holes. Her response was that no one out there cares. She's probably on the money.

I think if you've never seen a Terminator film and you're not that big of a fan, you'll probably enjoy the movie. But if you are a fan and no the in's and out's of the series you'll probably have as much of a problem with it as I do. I don't want to give too much away for those who haven't seen the movie but you do have to wonder how Skynet knew enough to care about Kyle Reese and John Connor in the first place considering this is the Skynet of the future, but not far enough in the future to have sent back the other Terminators in the first place. And Skynet never had a clue about Kyle Reese before. Makes you think....

Oh well! Summer blockbusters are only going 30% on the goodness scale right now. Star Trek is the only one that did it for me. Here's hoping that Transformers 2 delivers on the promise of its trailers!

Really stupid work!

2009-05-18T07:51:00.004-06:00

Finished The Man with the Golden Torc last week. It was definitely very enjoyable. It hinted at the Nightside books but went very above and beyond. Once I finish my current TBR I'm definitely going back and reading the sequel and I'm pretty sure book 3 comes out in June so I'll be on top of it!

Currently about a quarter of the way through Good Omens. I wasn't sure if I'd like it or not. I'm about 50/50 on Neil Gaiman. Some of his stuff I really like (American Gods) and some I couldn't even get through (Graveyard Book). Never ready any Terry Pratchett altho I've always heard good things about Discworld. I may have to add it to my TBR just to see. Anyway, I'm really liking Good Omens so far. Just the right amount of humor mixed in with the end of the world. Can't go wrong there.

Finished TPZ: Trailer Park Zombies, last week! yay! Total word count ended up being about 83K words, about 262 pages. Now I just need to let it sit for a little bit while I do my day job and then go back and edit it and see if I can sell it. Stay tuned!

Stupid Work!

2009-05-11T09:17:00.005-06:00

Not too much going on in my neck of the woods. My day job is tearing my schedule up. Only got about 9K words done last week. The plus is that I should be able to finish it this week one way or the other. I think I'm within 20 pages of being done.

Read books 2, 3, and 4 in Jeanne Stein's Anna Strong novels. Pretty good reads!

Started The Man With The Golden Torc by Simon Green last night. There are definite hints of his Nightside series so far, but it appears to be a pretty good read. At over 400 pages I'm guessing it will take me most of the week to get through it. I'm plugging away thru my TBR: have a Neil Gaiman book left in PB and then a few left on my Kindle. It will be nice to be caught up!

That's it! Quick update for this week. Back to the grind!

A new Monday morning

2009-05-04T07:35:00.004-06:00

Didn't get much work done on TPZ last week. Only about 14K words. Was a little too busy with my day job and just ran out of daylight. It's at a total of 69K words right now so I s'pose if I really hammered it out I could do it but I anticipate work being busy this week so not sure if I'll have the time or not. I can only but try!

I finished World War Z again last week. The first time I read it I checked it out of the library and I finally went back and bought it and read it. Max Brooks definitely came into his own with this. I like the essential story and the points that are brought up. My only bone of contention is that I wish there were one cohesive story to bind it all together instead of what felt like reading a bunch of shorts. I've never been a fan of the interview style and that's what this essentially is. I know what he was going for here but feel it could have been so much more.

Saw Wolverine this weekend. It was a good flick but I can't say I was too impressed with it. It had a lot going for it but it felt kind of flat. There were so many cool mutants in it but other than Wolverine, Gambit and Deadpool we didn't even get any of their names. I was never a big comic book person but it seemed like you as the viewer was just supposed to know who everyone was. Oh well, at least my wife enjoyed Wolverine's nekkid scene :)

Snowy Spring Morning

2009-04-27T08:12:00.003-06:00

Here it is, a Monday morning in late April... and we wake up to 3 inches of snow on the ground. WTF?? My son and I spent 2 hours yesterday fixing up the backyard and throwing down some grass seed, so I guess this might help that, but we also planted some peppers in our 2 square foot garden. Hopefully those survive cause I sure do love my peppers!

Well I finally finished Drood by Dan Simmons last night. The book finally picked up about 400 pages into the 800 page novel. I skipped over a vast majority of the first 400 pages, I do have to admit. The novel was actually engaging and exciting at about the 400 page mark, and then dropped back down to not being engaging and exciting at about the 700 pages mark. I trudged thru the last 100 pages and then was completely disappointed and disgusted with the ending. It pretty much makes you question how much of the 800 pages really happened. I have to say it's the first Dan Simmons novel I've actively disliked.

I also read The Becoming by Jeanne Stein as a little bit of a break from Drood. I've met Jeanne several times and I have to say from the description that I didn't think I would like the Anna Strong novels but I was pleasantly surprised. I immediately went out to Amazon and ordered the set and am waiting to get them home to add them to my stack of TBR.

Not much else going on. 55K words in to TPZ. I think I wrote about 72 pages last week, which has to be something of a personal record. I'm not sure exactly how long the book is going to be, but I'd say roughly 100 more pages. If I can work hard on it this week and next I think I might get done with the first draft. 6 weeks to finish a novel will be a personal record for me :)

Starfest

2009-04-20T07:35:00.000-06:00

My wife and I spent Friday snowed in and sick. Denver had one of the largest snowstorms that I can remember. Especially at this time of year. It started Friday and went prettymuch thru early evening Saturday. Not sure on the totals, but I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't get 2 feet in places. That didn't stop us from going to Starfest Saturday, which was kinda awesome. I handed out free copys of SLASH and The Hunger and when no one was looking put a bunch of flyers on a table for the web site. We'll see if that generates some hits!

I haven't had a chance to write since Thursday, both life and my day job have gotten in the way, but I did manage to do about 50 pages or so last week. Total word count is at about 33K words, so I'm nearly halfway there. After 2 weeks! The harrowing adventures of Duke Johnson in the Trailer Park against the zombie horde continues.

Currently reading "Drood" by Dan Simmons. Normally I'm a huge Simmons fan but I'm finding this one very hard to get into. When he's telling the actual story I'm eating it up but you can tell Simmons did a ton of research for it and he feels it necessary to tell you how and what they ate for meals and every single detail of every single minute of Dickens life. I hate to say it, but I find myself skipping over a bunch. I'm reading it on the Kindle, so no idea how far I'm in the book (this much!) but it seems like the main story should be getting into gear long before now and it really kinda hasn't. I'll power thru tho.

Off to write!

20,000 words in and going strong

2009-04-13T13:36:00.000-06:00

20-25% done on "Trailer Park Zombies" after 1 week. That's a good start!

TPZ is set it in Litchville, Kentucky, and answers the question: If there were a zombie outbreak in BFE, backwoods Kentucky, would anyone notice?

I wasn't brought up in KY, but my family was and I've visted a few dozen times in my life. Not that I counted!

Currently reading book 9 of Simon Green's Nightside series - "Just Another Judgment Day". Pretty good. It's finally asking the question I've wondered since the end of book 6: where can it go from here? Six was apolyptic and refreshing and everything the previous 5 promised it would be and I honestly thought it'd be the end of the series. And then book 7 was published the same year. 7 and 8 kind of floundered (tho they were entertaining). 9 is back with full force!

Finished the new Dresden book last week - good as the promise it was supposed to be altho I was a little disappointed at who the "Turn Coat" actually was. Who? You ask. Yeah, I wondered that, too, after reading it.

My new blog!

2009-04-11T21:24:00.000-06:00

Testin out my new blog!